As I drink, I feel myself slipping into a negative state of mind. I start thinking about the past and feel terrible just thinking about it all. This is why doctors say not to drink alcohol. It is a depressor. I am alone and getting stuck in my head.

I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have are more of my sisters friends than mine. Amazing people of course but I must just be that crazy/wierd to have my own friends. Again I have been drinking, so I start overthinking. I shouldn’t be alone, yet here I am sitting by myself and drinking my feelings.

I have so much on my mind and it is always on my mind. Everything and everyone. I keep thinking I have destroyed peoples lives. So I avoid things and people.

I know I have the strength to stop drinking because I have done it before. I just have to many excuses to quit at the moment. Thats my blurb for tonight.

Stay Shining