What a journey it has been. I am talking emotionally and physically. I started drinking again and I would feel like crap afterward because it made me feel like I failed. I was doing so good. I should say I made a mistake and I am not going to let that stop me from getting better.

On the tenth of February,2023 is when it started. I was so distraught because of the thought of my baby boy Nathaniel. I drank for three days and took a one day break. Last night I drank once again. I am not going to hate myself for this but I am dissapointed in myself.

To some people they think, “so what you drank”. Others who have been through what I am going through will understand. I noticed that through the hard moments I am always in search of something to take away the hardness of it. Whether it be drinking, smoking, binge eating, marijuana.

I know there are much more healthier ways to cope with those hard moments. It’s walking, writing, singing, having a bath, go to the salon if I can afford it, a big one is surrounding myself with family. I will be seeing an alcohol and addictions counselor this week. I am hoping that they will be able to give me some more tips and tricks to cope with the hard moments.

Well thats all I gotta say for this blog.

Stay Shining