As the day gets closer to the death of my unborn son, I find myself stuck in a deep depression. I am trying not to be so hard on myself but it is uncontrolable in these hard moments leading up to the death date.

I have so much amazing people who surround me. My best friend being one of them. I am struggling in these moments and my best friend is dropping everything that he has to do, to come and support me.

I don’t want to be in pain anymore but I am not giving up. I know in time I will be okay. Just the moments of grief are hard. I don’t know that I have allowed myself to grieve. I am just taking it day by day.

My son, I love you more than words can express. Baby Nathaniel I will never forget you. I am so sorry mommy wasn’t better. I love you Nathaniel, forever and always. Love, mommy

Stay Shining