Feb 4, 2023

I have always wondered why my mental health has been such a struggle. I am sure a lot of people are going through the same thing I am. It is hard to explain the thoughts that run through this brain of mine. Some days are harder than others.

Today I find myself feeling guilty for a lot of things I have put myself through. I ended up in the hospital last year 2022. It wasn’t that long ago that I was discharged. I had a lot of medication changes. I did meet others who are struggling in a different way. Some the same and others were different.

I did feel safe while I was in the hospital because I couldn’t harm myself. Not that I harm myself now but, coming back to reality was a big transition and I am still working through it. I am proud of myself for reaching out but I am also still wondering why, or how this had happened in the first place.

There was one good thing that happened at the hospital. I met my Best Friend. Him and I walked with each other and talked about a lot. We still get together to this day and hang out. He has been one of my biggest supports the entire time I was in the hospital and out. We talk about everything. Super honest conversations.

I honestly don’t know where or what I would be doing if I didn’t have my best friend. It is almost like we go through the exact same thing. His struggle is a bit more than mine and I wish I could take that pain and suffering from him.

Such an Amazing man and I have him in my life. I am thankful for him and I truly do believe we were meant to meet. Not the greatest way to meet such an Amazing person. It was meant to be. I am thankful for having him as my best friend.

I get to see my children every Saturday and today is another day I get to spend some time with them. This is also what helps me to stay strong. My babies that are not babies anymore. I know one day I will see them more than just once a week. It is hard to be completely honest. I am staying positive, I am going to see my children more as I progress in my healing.

My children are apart of me and mean the most to me. I am sure that is how it is with most parents. Maybe there is also someone going through the exact same thing I am going through, when it comes to the children. I am trying to stay positive and I know I will have hard days. I have already had a few of them. At the end of the day I am a Strong woman and I will always fight throught the hard days.

Stay Shining


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