This morning I awoke just fine. No anxiety attack thankfully. I am more missing my little ones as always. I tried to reach out to their father so that I could talk to them on the phone but no response from him. If I do remember that when you have someone blocked on your phone it goes straight to voicemail. Which is exactly what it does when I call. I also don’t want to assume but thats the only thing I can think of.
When I left my sisters yesterday I came home and made myself wait to go to sleep until about six thirty pm. I am always in bed early because I don’t like staying up late and being tired the next day. I have been sleeping about twelve hours everyday. I find it helps a lot even though I did want to just sleep all day.
Yesterday I kept thinking about what I had to do this week and I found that it does make me anxious as well. They say to live in the moment and not to worry about what tomorrow brings. I find it hard at times to do so. It is like my brain is trying to go way to fast for me.
Today is another day that I am trying to conquer with my thoughts and I was told once by a wonderful woman not to look at my days as good or bad because if we base the day on that one bad thing we miss out on the good of it all.
So that is another thing that I am trying to teach myself is just to focus on the good of it all even if I have a bad moment. Self care goals are difficult for me to put into place for each day. I do shower and eat but as far as planning anything else I do struggle. It is finding that balance is what I am told a lot. Just hard when things are so different now than what they were one or two years ago.