“Schizophrenia is a serious mental disorder in which people interpret reality abnormally.”
I was recently diagnosed with Schizophrenia, September 9, 2022 to be exact. I never knew the severity of psychosis that comes with the diagnosis.
“Psychosis is Characterized as disruptions to a persons thoughts and perceptions that make it difficult for people to recognize what is real and what isn’t.”
I was stuck in my mind, almost as if I wasnt there at all. I was walking for hours at a time and bare foot at that. In my mind I was told I have these great powers. I was told some dark things that would happen and one of those things came true. I was fighting for my life while being stuck in a cage within myself.
I started praying because I didn’t know what else to do. I still pray as I write this. I was “walking with the Devil” so to speak. Although the Devil has no power over this woman. Thats what was in my head. I have conquered the messed up reality in my head and I will continue to do so.
I have scared many people, including my family. Not happy about this but I hope they understand that I wasn’t well at all at the time. I still have those voices in my head and I still see things but I know that I have a good coping strategy that I do use.
I had an appointment yesterday with a psychiatrist who explained very well what is happening in this brain of mine. I am not the only person who has or is going through this. It is scary to have thoughts of things that I never ever thought I would be having. Or hearing things that no one would ever want to hear.
My brain is still all over but it is a work in progress. I have learned so many new, good coping skills and I will continue to do so. I Love writing and thats what I have been doing. Writing with a pen and paper of course. The thought of posting it all on here is there but I would rather keep it nice and sweet in these moments. I am not ready to exploit my own embarrassing thoughts, feelings. At least not yet.
Today is September 20, 2022 and this is the first time typing since my last post that I shared while I was very unwell. So please do be kind, and kindness will be shown to you. I mean I am usually always kind despite the rude people. Anyways I just felt the need to type this morning, Thankfully.