41 Days sober, 2 hours of sleep

The roughest night I have had since the starting of my Healing Journey. I am so, so tired but I can’t seem to force myself to sleep. Definitley stressors that are affecting me.

I know I will be okay. We all have bad days. I do struggle still. Hahaha I am Human. I praise others to bring light into my life. My friend told me, “Supporters need Support too.” How honest is that.

I have to praise myself for all of the healing I have done and continue to do. It is really hard but I have faith that I am going to be okay.

I do hope everyone has a Fantastic day, Sincerely. ❤

Stay Shining

Uncle P

I miss you uncle. Growing up I didn’t realize how much you had to do. Measures you have taken to protect your children. You kind sir are a very Strong, Wise man. Amazing Father.

I know your Journey has been a good one, in fact an Amazing one. You not only taught your children but they taught you as well. They may have rebelled, Look at them now though. What Beautiful souls they truly are. I hope you had a really good Fathers day. Love you

Stay Shining

The Music Artist

Not gonna lie I have had a few “one night stands.” I am not ashamed of this. I actually met a man and he had a very rough life. I seen his shine though. He was different. Interestingly he wants to become a rapper. I asked him what his Aspiration was in life. He answered so fast. It was hillarious. Cute actually. He glowed when he talked about it.

I do hope he is well and knows he has the Strength to overcome the “demons”- Bad medicine, that people tend to give off. I was actually very toxic. I really really was. I swear I had bad medicine given to me.

You wouldn’t understand this. It comes from my Indiginous culture. Please take care of yourself. Remember you matter. You can do anything you want to do with the positive support of even one person. Someone to root you on.

Stay Shining

Oldest Nephew

Hey you, Yeah you. Hahaha Don’t ever think I could forget you. I have you in my thoughts every single day. I Love you so, so much! I wish you seen you the way I do.

Technically your mine. Hahaha Kidding. I hope you can forgive me for the pain I have caused you. I am bawling my eyes out right now. You didn’t and don’t deserve an unhealthy Aunty. I am fighting and I am fighting hard. We can heal our family, first we must heal ourselves.

I see your shine, I see your scream to release. It’s okay to do that. If you don’t want to talk about it, you can always write it down. I am so proud of you for all of your accomplishments. So, So Proud of you. I Love you so, so much! ❤

Stay Shining

My Youngest Brother

I want to start by saying I Love you very much. You looked up to me and I was more of a bad influence than good. I hope you can forgive me for my behavior and knowing what trauma and pain I have caused.

I am so Proud of you! I still talk to Grandma, not everyday but when I remember. Hahaha I have pictures of us from when I was around. I wish I could change how I was but I cannot. For that I am sorry.

You are and always will be my Little Brother. I Love you so much! 💗

Stay Shining

Great Aunty G

My Great Aunt G is in my thoughts today. She has made the biggest impact in my life. She is no longer with us in her body. Her spirit is within all of us. She helped protect Indiginous families to heal their wounds from the past. So that the children can be the best them that they could possibly be.

She showed what Strength and Love was. I didn’t realize this until today. An advocate for Indiginous children. So Beautiful. Inside and out. The kindest woman. I Love her and miss her so much. I know she is with me and my family today.

Stay Shining

Society

“The aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community.” Aggregate; “A whole formed by combining several elements.”

If we were all to communicate with each other properly and accept people for their own Individual selves, maybe the world would be a brighter place.

I see the good in people but I also see the bad and I do have knowledge that bad people do bad things. They only do those bad things due to their own trauma. Or they were forced into that lifestyle.

So much hope that I have. I do know that everyone deserves the best. Its not about your looks but your Love for yourself. To Love yourself so you Can Love others.

We only have so much energy to spare. Also many words I use is knowledge from others. Pretty cool and I get to share it. The knowledge of myself has taught me so much!

Stay Shining

Fathers

The tiny feet that walk beside you, won’t be tiny for long. Those tiny feet will grow, you are doing your best to be the best father you can be.

I understand some men are not involved, you are still their father and you have the Courage to be the best you possibly can be. So don’t doubt yourself. You are worth more than comparing yourself to others.

You are one of those stars in the sky, perfectly imperfect. You are a Good Father no matter the pain you have endured as a child. Your so Strong, Resilient, Loving, Caring, Handsome on the inside and out. Beautiful Souls.

Happy Father’s day to every single father out there.

Stay Shining

Okkkkkay :)

The way she rolls her tongue while saying okay has always been interesting. One thing that automatically reminded me of you.

The s**t we talked about was deep. I seen you today. I wanted to wave but feared you were mad at me. Of course I did.

The amount of Love you have shown me is over and above what I could have ever asked for. Thank you so much and I hope you can forgive me for any pain I have caused you. Love you

Stay Shining

39 Days Sober!

I wasn’t going to write today. I have had a rough day. I got about a ten min walk in today. It is better than nothing. I am tired and only running off of 4 hours of sleep.

I was able to help my Mom today and my Nephew with their rooms. Got to see my children today. I felt so bad because I was Not in a good head space. I was very frustrated today. Not because of anyone, just all the emotions adding up. Also when I am tired I have a hard time accepting the feelings. Work in progress.

I really could use some uplifting. I hope everyone had a Good enough day. 😉

Stay Shining