Remember your breath. In through the nose and out throught the mouth. I have to repeat this thought many times a day. I felt scared, worried, angry, my entire body was shaking. I felt light headed and confused. I felt that “lost” again.
Triggered; “caused by particular action, process, or situation”. I am not comfortable with explaing how I got triggered. At least for now. I panicked, put on my shoes and started walking. I walked, and walked. I walked until I could feel the blisters starting to form on my feet. Only then did I decide to start to make my way home.
Interesting isn’t it? I would rather feel the pain on my feet. I don’t ever want to put myself back into that position. I walked 4 hours yesterday. I was still Terrified walking because the thought wouldnt go away.
I got home, relaxed and went to sleep. I am Amazed at the fact I didn’t give in. I am proud of myself. It is the littlest thing to some people. For me this is Huge. So if you think you can’t, well guess what, You Can!
I will not allow anything to control me anymore. I am in control of myself. I am making Positive changes. I can Proudly say 33 Days Sober and Clean.