They say Patience is a virtue. It really is a good attribute to have. I am still learning to be patient. Patient with time. In time I will be exactly where I am supposed to be. Not before, right on time. Like right now, I am writing this because I feel the want to do so. So I am gonna. Hahaha
So many times my patience has been short, short with everyone. Even myself. Time and time again I wanted everything done right now. It doesn’t work like that. A lot of the times you have to wait to receive what you were meant to receive. Whether it be an object, emotion, situation. It could be stressful and it also might not be.
That sense of control I wanted was not the greatest way of controlling anything. Having this time to reflect on myself is exactly where I am supposed to be. Patience is something that comes with practice. I have had to remind myself what I have control of and what I don’t. It makes a big difference, still working on it of course but I will get there.
Very, very, important to me to learn patience. I have been making good progress.
Alright, today has been a good day. I noticed in this moment I am feeling “off”. I enjoy looking out my window and seeing what is going on outside. When people walk by. I suppose I enjoy the different scenery in those few moments as people walk by. I also have a habit of staring. May come off as creepy. Lol, Thats my thoughts.
When I was younger I did this all the time. “Space Out” I stared a lot at people. Almost as if I am reading them. I feel energy, emotions. Say your sad, I will most likely feel sad with you. I always try and stay positive.
The main person I have issues with is myself. It is a constant teaching to myself. Fights go on in this head of mine every day. A battle of emotions, the good and bad. Thankfully I can work through the bad and focus more on the good.
I still am very worried about what others think but definetely not enough to fall to their petty levels. I am not a petty person. I could be but choose not to because we are all human. We all make mistakes. I like to treat people how I want to be treated. I do get angry, I have enough Strength to overcome the negative outbursts.
How can I explain this?, I put on this strong face. I am strong, I am also human. So I have a choice. I can either be down about what I think everyone thinks of me. Or I can be Happy that it doesn’t matter what they think because I am me. I am always going to be me. I am not changing for no one.
One more thing. Say if someone does have an issue with me? They go and spread a rumor. You know that this rumor is not true. Do I get mad at myself for allowing it?, or do I ignore it and focus on myself. At the end of the day it is just me. Yes even I have my family here with me. I make my own choices for the most part right. So even if someone doesn’t like me, it really doesn’t matter at the end of the day. At the end of the day it is just me. Gotta work on it for myself. Learning to Love myself. hmmmmmm maybe I am a bit confused. I will get it soon. Gotta keep on working at this. Hahaha