I always thought that I was not a good enough Mom. I knew I was a good Mom, my problem was that yes I am here. Even though I am here physically, My mind is not fully here in time. Always wandering off into deep thoughts that create emotions. Emotions I never wanted to accept. I also couldn’t forgive myself for the past.
My ex always said to me “it doesnt make you less of a Mother”. The more he said it to me, the more I understood. To think about it, my ex was very hurt by my own behavior towards myself. It is not only exhausting for me, it is exhausting for the people who surround you. Try not to take that too negative.
The ones who Love me have all tried to help me. I hope that they understand that even if they don’t think they did good enough, they did. The people in my life have always went beyond their own strength to give to me. If that makes sense.
Spoon Theory, You have 5 spoons a day. The spoons are represented as your energy. So those 5 spoons need to be spread apart throughout the day. If you use those spoons to quick you wont have enough energy to finish the day. Or your reaching for the spoons that are supposed to be for tomorrow. So instead of me trying to get everything done fast and not be patient with the process, I have to listen to my body, mind, soul. Something like that. Hahaha
This actually popped up in my head because my friend Nicole shared a blog on Facebook. I think she has so much knowledge. I am pretty sure I feed off of others brains. As we all should, to an extent. You want to learn from them not be them. Lol I mean I wouldnt mind having her brain. Hahaha godsfavoritewidow.com even if your not Christian, you can still learn so, so much from Nicole. Her stories are beyond Exciting, intense.
Me personally I don’t necessarily have a religion. I am very Spiritual, intuned with my own emotions. Its good and bad with the being “intuned”, with my emotions. It is what we call an Empath. It is another level of feeling emotions. Pretty Incredible I might say.
Now that I have started my healing journey, I don’t want to go back. This feels so nice, to be able to process all the thoughts, feelings, emotions. I am fighting and fighting hard to take back control of my life. As for my children, I miss them soo much but this is only temporary. I Love you my Beautiful Stars.