I find that if you smile, especially in a heated moment. The other person gets very Angry. Why is that. They are not getting the sadness, tears, anger. The person whom is attacking you verbally is actually telling you how they percieve themselves. Like I said, we are our worst Enemies.
So, I have had many heated moments. I cry, get angry, and cry some more. I cry because I want to attack. I dont enjoy hurting people. I would rather hurt myself. I have had way too much ridiculous accusations and pain from other people.
If only I had realized this before. Ha, thats what is so great about being Sober, I can think so clearly. People cause pain because of their own pain. Everyone seemed so tough. They all seemed to be “popular” and no matter how nice I was I still got shit on. They seen my weakness. When someone sees that weakness in you, they use it to their advantage to make themselves feel better.
In reality, this is gonna cause them more pain than the pain they caused you. My thoughts is if someone is calling you out on stuff. Accept it only if it is the truth. If you know it is untrue, call them out on their behavior and words. Hurt, sucks and everyone is hurting. some way, shape, or form.
I find the best response for me is to tell the other person that you do understand how they are feeling. Let them know its okay to be angry, sad, happy. Obviously everyone in this time is unsure of how to deal with stressful situations. Thats when it usually turns to bad Coping skills. You really gotta learn about who you are as an individual. Otherwise you are going to be chasing everyone elses personalities that are Not yours. I can say this from Experience. Hahaha See I just know myself that well. How well do you know yourself?
So I say kill them with kindness. I know who I am, I know I have flaws because we all do. I am just as Beautiful as anyone else on this planet. My own Unique self. I am done being Ashamed of who I am as a person. I am done being Embarrassed of expressing my emotions and feelings. So I will always keep that in the back of my head. “Kill them with Kindness”.