June 2, 2022

Today is day 25 I do believe Sober! I had a craving, I am not going to give in ever again. I have control over my choices. I don’t ever want to go through anything like that again.

I know I am going to have bad days but I Believe I have the Strength to overcome those cravings. I have the Strength to Overcome those negative emotions.

It is very difficult at first, truly and honestly it isn’t easy. My mindset is toward Loving me for me. I walk to get any frustration out. Not because I have to. I want to, I want to walk for hours but I have to ease into it. Hahaha it takes patience and time to improve. Never stop Trying! If you fall down get back up just like when we were kids. Free, no care in the world what people thought.

We are still those happy little ones on the inside. We are just too afraid to show it. I am fighting to be me! I am Learning to Love me.

Screw all those drinks, the drugs. I am high on Life. Hahaha.

Stay Shining

Mom

My Mom and I had an Amazing visit today. Emotional but so Good. With all the bad we talked about, I acknowledged her Feelings as well as mine. I talked aloud about the emotion. Went into depth.

Hahaha my Mom looked at me and said “you know I am not going to remember any of this”. Hahaha so honest. Love her so much!

A thought of not having her in my life eventually is sad. I want her to know that she is such a Beautiful Soul. I express this to her as much as I can. My Mom hurts and she doesn’t like to show it. She has always protected us from certain things.

Some things she just didn’t have control over. She really is a Amazing Mother! I Love you Momma!

I know one day, she will die but she will be Remembered. I will be Sure of it! Spread the Kindness and Love she has shown me my entire life. I am going to take anytime I can get to spend with her. Breakthroughs, I am telling you. I have never been more okay in my life to be me.

Stay Shining