2.

We all have our differences, I am not the same as you. You are your own person and so am I. We are so hard on ourselves visually. We tell ourselves we are less than what our worth is. That’s not true! 

I have always believed or thought that everyone was and is judging me. 

Guess what they are.

I am judging those that I think are judging me. Then I believe those negative thoughts because I get stuck on the emotions. It’s all a process. It can be difficult at first to switch your mindset. 

Get rid of those negative people who make you feel or think your not good enough. Stop comparing yourself to other people. We are the same but different and that’s okay. I don’t Ever want to be someone that I don’t know. To be a stranger to yourself. I am sure I read that somewhere. Or maybe it was off of a movie or something….. Anyways, It really helps to acknowledge who you are as a person. Be you! 

Stay Shining

Breakthrough

It can be so difficult to understand our own emotions. At least for me I had a terrible time with accepting all of the emotions. I didn’t want to feel the emotions that were sad or angry, guilt is a huge one for myself. The feeling of guilt is not nice at all. I always be as honest as I can be. Some of the things that come out of my mouth in conversation, I find may be a bit confusing, I understand it in my mind. 

My breakthrough happened in the worst condition. I am almost certain that I had a psychotic break down. Instead of labeling it a breakdown I am definitely stating that it was a Breakthrough. I was in the most Terrible position emotionally. 

It all starts with my childhood. 

I never ever felt “Normal”

I have always wanted people to like me. 

I have high gratitude, meaning I am a very thankful person. 

I refuse to be rude unless I need to be. Even then I try to be a polite rude.

I am very intune with my emotions. It is so refreshing to Love myself finally after almost 30 years. 

I would have never come this far without the support of my friends. I would name them but I am not sure they would appreciate it without their permission. 

I have always compared myself to others. Negatively degrading myself. Didn’t understand my self worth. Felt so lost so to speak. Felt alone even with everyone around. I was so scared to be by myself. I had enough of it, I locked myself in my room and shut everyone out. Why?, I was tired of it all. The feelings that I would mask with alcohol and a specific drug. Sitting in those dark thoughts were so scary. I over came them by accepting them. Figuring out that all these negative things that impacted me wasn’t all my fault. I accept that I have been in the wrong many times. I also always admit my wrong doings and apologize to often.

My friend said you have to let your emotions “Flow like a river.” Sit and think about that in depth. There are so many emotions that we need to accept. All of them! They flow through our brains like a river. Keep that in the back of your mind. Don’t disturb your River. Let it flow in its entire natural form. So beautiful, bring yourself peace. The only thing stopping you is you. Breaking through was the best feeling I have ever felt. Happiness with myself.

Knowledge

Knowledge, instead of taking this negatively. I am thinking to have Knowledge of myself. Knowing and learning me. Accepting who I am as a person. Accepting all the emotions that come with me. It’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay for it all. Not matter the feeling. Thats the human in us. We all are our own person but we all shine like the stars. Imperfect but perfect in our own unique way. Breaking through I am telling you.

Just like my friend said the brain is so interesting. He aspires to help people and he has already! Without his knowledge I would never have come as far as I have. Nicole, my other friend has made the biggest impact in my life first off and foremost. A Fine man, an Amazing “man friend”. He showed me what it was like to open my mind. These two people have been more of a positive influence in my life. I Love who they are as a person. They shines so bright and I want to shine bright too. The thought process is all to interesting to me. How it affects our behavior. I am super empathetic and I Love it. I Love me in a positive way. All the imperfect and perfect. 

Love to me isn’t just loving others!

Love is Loving myself first. It isn’t selfish at all to love myself. I am gonna shine so bright that it is hopefully going to help others in the aspect of allowing yourself to feel. Yay! This is me, I Love me. Knowledge is very important, knowledge of yourself. Knowledge of understanding who you are. “I am alone but not lonely”!

Stay Shining

Friends

Friends? I had no clue what that meant for the longest time. How do you know when someone is your friend? I know who I like as a friend. That includes family. Why? 

Each and every person I have ever interacted with has their own story. This is because of the environment they are raised in. How did I learn this?, is from my friends. How do I know they are my friend?

In my thoughts, they are the ones who taught me that it is okay to be emotional. It is okay to express myself. There are healthy ways to do that. I enjoy writing, expressing gratitude, I love to be honest. I also have the want to help others. How can I help others in this world? Share my knowledge, my thought process and how I accept myself and love myself. You can to, it sounds draining. I understand but Trust when I say you are the only one who can make you happy. You need to be your own best friend, your own lover, focus on you, yourself. Not physically or financially. Those will follow. Focus on those emotions that we reject everyday, that we Disregard, ignore. You will find your passion by learning about yourself as a person.

How I know they are my friends. When a person doesn’t give up on you and continues to listen. When a person asks questions to help you figure out what to do. Friendship is Love, Friendship is Honesty, Friendship is non judgmental. In my eyes you know they are your friend when they help you to reach betterment in yourself. Be who we are as an individual, just like the stars that are perfectly imperfect. You are a star! 

Keep shining